


Heaven Help the Fool

by kintsvki



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Also Alec has a stubble, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Just a lot of emotions, Kinda, M/M, Magnus Is In Love, Not exactly angst, Tired Alec is Tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kintsvki/pseuds/kintsvki
Summary: It had been days since Magnus had last seen him. The upcoming war and missing brother could to that to an oh-so-new relationship. Magnus was looking forward to seeing Alec again. But, he wasn't expecting this.





	Heaven Help the Fool

Minutes had turned into hours, into days, into sleepless nights and drunken mornings, into weeks, into chaos and heartbreak and loss and everything in between. 

Magnus was tired. 

He was tired of dealing with the world and its monsters. The neverending nightmares which kept trying to take over his life and take away anything precious he had ever touch. 

take me, take me instead!

He was so tired. 

But, the fight in him wasn’t extinguished. Not yet, at least. He had promised himself that he would have fought alongside his new found companions, that he wouldn’t have run away, hiding some remote place until the war was over. 

No, this war he wanted to fight. Not only he wanted to be standing in the ranks, fingers dancing in the air with blue light embracing them. No, not only that. Magnus wanted to win. 

He wanted to win so badly. For himself, for his people, his family. For Alec.

Isabelle. Clary. Raphael, although he would never admit it out loud. 

Even for Simon. Jace. 

The vampire was growing on him, which was fortunate considering they both had forevers they never asked for. 

Magnus seemed to have found a family in most unlikely of places, where he never would have even dared to look. Yet, here he was. 

He was staring out at the city below him, admiring the game of lights and shadows, knowing well enough what was hiding in the darkest corners, just waiting to pounce on the next victim. It was a war zone waiting to happen, a caged animal with its claws too sharp and the lock too weak. 

All the legends were true. Why always the bad ones, though?

He sipped on the cocktail he had prepared himself a few minutes earlier, savoring the sweetness of it and losing his consciousness in the alcohol dancing on his tongue, like a tentacle caressing his cheek. An enemy whose mask resembled his own desperate feature too much to be a coincidence. 

He was running out of clean glasses.

Magnus started thinking about wether he wanted to replace them or clean them up with magic, when he heard three determinate but quiet knocks on the door. 

It was past midnight on a Wednesday, he wondered who it could be on his way to the door, silky red robe hanging low on his shoulders. He had been working for days on ways to find Jace, on pleasing his clients and maintaining the order as the High Warlock of Brooklyn. That meant he hadn’t seen his friends for days. He hadn’t seen anyone for days and he usually didn’t have visitors at night, especially now that his new shadowhunters friends were out looking for the Wayland-not-Wayland boy. 

Well, not all of them, apparently. 

“Alexander!” Magnus greeted, delighted at the visit. “What do I owe this splendid surprise to?”

The taller man flashed him a timid, exhausted smile and Magnus let him in, quietly closing the door behind him. 

He took in the tense, guarded shape of his shoulders. The ever present weight on the back of this beautiful creature the world had only offered pain to. 

“Alec wha-”

“I’m so tired, Magnus,” he started. He was facing the big windows looking out on the city and Magnus couldn’t see his face. He couldn’t know what he looked like in that moment, but he knew, anyway. He had spent quite some time staring at him, observing him and admiring him and he knew, in the back of his mind, that Alec was pursing his lips, eyebrows scrunched so close together they seemed inseperable. Eyes dark, deep and looking at a million things only Alec could see. 

He didn’t talk. He waited. He waited because Alec needed someone to wait. He needed someone to stop time, just for a moment, to let him breathe. To let him be just a boy, with no other responsability other than being a boy.

So, he waited.

A few moments passed and Alec sighed, gesturing at nothing with his strong but gentle hands. 

He started pacing. 

“I’m so tired. Tired of fighting, of chasing ghosts and killing demons. Tired of barking orders and receiving them. I’m tired of seeing my sister hide her pain when my mother can’t see. But she will never see! She doesn’t see how strong and beautiful Izzy is, she just doesn’t! I’m angry and exhausted and I just want to stop fighting, but this is who I am, isn’t it? This is who I will always be. I never had a chance to choose, anything. I was born into a role I never wanted to play.”

Magnus stumbled a little, hit with the force of how much he felt for this man. How much he wanted to wrap his arms around him and keep him away from the world. A world that never deserved him and never would. 

But Alec turned around, then. He turned around and boy, was Magnus hit with how much he felt. 

An angel and a devil, all wrapped in a warrior. 

He looked as if he had lived a hundred lives in one second, all crashing down on him at the same time. 

His hair was a black forest caught in a storm and his hands kept crashing through it with increasing force, with agonizing frustration. 

Alec was pacing, making a mess of chaos and God, he had never looked more beautiful than right in that moment. 

Magnus was frozen to the spot, eyes taking in all of him, not knowing where to stop. But, then they caught a dark shape on his angel’s face. Right on his jawline, on his chin, around his perfect mouth. 

Alec had been so distracted by the mission, by the hunt for Valentine and the search for his brother that he hadn’t even bothered looking into a mirror. That explained the mess, that explained his hair and his clothes and the dark circles under his eyes. 

It also explained, in furious loud noises in Magnus’ head, how Alec hadn’t noticed the stubble growing on his face.

He looked like sin. And Magnus was known to be a sinner.

“What do I do, Magnus? Why can’t I have just one minute of peace? It’s why I came to you, anyway,” he laughed deprecatingly, “I wanted peace and I walked into a hurricane. There’s some irony there I can’t seem to catch.” 

“Alexander,” Magnus took a step forward. His hand moved, reaching out to him, wanting him to just stop walking, stop talking, come here and let me hold you, let me love you let me be your peace Alexander let me in. 

“I’m so tired.” 

Alec looked up, eyes red and expression pained with a thousand emotions he couldn’t get out. Didn’t know how to get out. 

“You can be,” Magnus whispered and closed the space between them, not touching him. Just looking at him, trying to get him to understand that he was there. That Magnus got it and he was ready to hold him. To take the weight he couldn’t bear, anymore. Not on his own. 

Magnus held his palm out, warm and inviting. 

“It’s okay, Alexander, just let go.”

And he did.

He let everything go and clinged onto Magnus for dear life. Face hidden in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his waist and the stubble he’d grown tickling Magnus’ ear. But it was okay. It was okay because it needed to be. 

Magnus would have crushed his own bones to make sure Alec’s were safe. 

He circled the younger man’s shoulders and held him tight, just enough to tell him I got you. I got you, my love.

“I need to find him,” he was whispering to himself. “I need to find Jace. I need to kill Valentine and get the Cup, I need to-” but his breath faltered in his own lungs. Mind betrayed by the body betrayed by the heart. 

The warrior was gone and all he had left in his wake was a broken angel whose wings had been cut off. Back bleeding with the blessings and the sins he never dared to touch. 

Magnus brought up his hand and cradled his neck, kissed his temple. “You need to breathe. That’s all you need to do, Alec. You’re not alone. It’s going to be alright.”

He felt Alec take a deep breath and try to relax his muscles, but his hands kept gripping at his robe, trembling and unsure. He needed to sleep. Alec needed rest and food and peace. He was going to explode, otherwise.

After all, even angels could fall.

Magnus opened his mouth, but closed it again when Alec brushed a cheek against his, stubble against smooth skin. Young against old. Angel against demon. 

Magnus wanted him so bad. 

He brought his free hand up to run his fingers on the thin hairs growing on Alec’s face, the air around them heavy with emotions and want and love and anticipation.  
He was more and more beautiful every day.

Magnus wanted to lay him down on the bed, free him of every piece of clothing and worship every inch of his perfect body. He wanted to make him feel everything Magnus himself was feeling.

But, this wasn’t the night. This wasn’t the time. 

Alec needed him in the way Magnus had wanted to be needed like for a while. He wanted Alec to feel safe, to want to stay there with him and be comforted by him and not regret it the next minute. He wanted his lips against his own, his stubble scraping against his bare skin and his hands exploring everywhere. But, he also wanted light touches and sweet whispers and unguarded smile. 

He wanted everything. 

He wanted Alec’s heart, because he had already given him his own.

It was his turn, now. Alec needed to ask, he needed to be sure.

And as always, the shadowhunter moved and amazed him, as no one ever had.

Magnus felt the light, feathery touch of Alec’s soft lips on his nose. He stilled, waiting for what was coming.

A moment passed. An eternity, trapped between their dancing breaths.

“Can I stay here, tonight?” Alec whispered, his nose a breath away from Magnus’ forehead. He had his eyes closed, waiting for an answer and praying for a different one. 

But didn’t he know? Didn’t Alec know that it was always going to be yes, for him?

So, Magnus asked a question of his own. 

“Can you stay here, forever?” 

And didn’t Magnus know? Didn’t he know it was always going to be yes, for him?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know. This just came out of nowhere. Let me know what you think. 
> 
> find me on twitter and tumblr @banesass! Feel free to prompt fics and send me headcanons! (Even for other ships.) 
> 
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> A.


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